combined colours

“Love will not be constrained by mastery; when mastery comes, the God of love at once beats his wings, and farewell — he is gone.” Chaucer. This was quoted at the Royal Wedding this week, and co-incidentally I’d been thinking deeply about the subject…

Here is more of the quote:

“Love will not be constrained by mastery; when mastery comes, the God of love at once beats his wings, and farewell — he is gone. Love is a thing as free as any spirit; women naturally desire liberty, and not to be constrained like slaves; and so do men, if I shall tell the truth.”

I’d been thinking about how you can’t have love, and control (mastery)…

Truth is, you can never truly contol others and it is stressful to try (sword of Damocles); it also means you have less energy to control yourself. And it will never give you what you really need, which is love.

Some more thoughts around this subject: love is not a cistern that if you give, your store goes down – but it is a river, the more you give out, the more room you have to receive love from others.

You can give out, but love is not something you can demand from someone in return. If they have a “cistern” idea, you can only keep giving – and one day they will flow over, the walls will breakdown, and you will have a river happening. In the meantime, do not fix all your focus on one person, this is unwise, unhealthy, unfulfilling. Do not obey someone who asks this, for they do not do it for love of you, and you should protect yourself from harm.

Marriage is about enjoyment, but even more, it is about sharing and caring, supporting and accepting each other – this is the kind of love that lasts, and it requires discipline, not feelings… They will come from a relationship where there is trust, acceptance and respect.

See ourselves as fluffy balls that will grab each other and shape to each other – when these things that join us work well. To short circuit this process for momentary enjoyment is detrimental to respect and self-control, and dangerous to our soul, because we don’t know that we will be wanting to tear away from that person, and if the hooks are in deep, this can be painfully damaging to us.

Relationships can grow deeper, and enjoyment increase if we take time and care, recognising that each wedding deserves huge celebration! And as we mature, we will have love to share with others, at work, at recreation, and into our children.

Children do not belong to us, but with us. They are not our slaves, nor are we theirs. Loving them means protecting, providing for, and training them. It means accepting them as they are, and respecting them as unique creations, with a purpose for their lives which we are priviledged to help them find.